I was reminded recently how I used to get frustrated by people not coming back to me if I emailed or left a message. Well, that’s an understatement. I often used to see it as a personal offence and affront and get wound up if it repeatedly happened.


Over the years I have learnt to *reframe* lack of response and see it from another point of view.

Reframing is a really useful NLP technique that helps prevent negative responses, such as losing motivation or creating frustration. Below are some ways to reframe a lack of response from people as well as some practical tips on getting people to respond.

### 1. Think about how you act

For example when getting frustrated by lack of response I remember that there have been times when I have forgotten to get back to people as I was very busy. When I used to be a busy director at a large organisation I have to admit I often presumed the onus was on others to chase me up, so why should I expect others to be different?

Yes it would be preferable if we all managed to get back to others in a timely manner, but most people have instances where they don’t. I therefore frame the fact that others do this to me as not being a slight or rejection but a case of people not being perfect.

### 2. Put yourself in others shoes

People can receive so many emails, phone calls, texts and now blog posts and tweets, that they simply couldn’t get back to all of them.

They will probably have some way of prioritising what they respond to so you need to become a priority for them. Or they may well be overwhelmed by communications and won’t be able to respond in which case you need to try another time, maybe first thing in the morning.

### 3. Reframing doesn’t mean giving up

I often remind myself that if I am asking someone for business it is up to me to follow them up. I can’t expect them to chase me! Taking ownership of the communication means I begin looking at ways of making the messages better.

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## Tips for effective communication:

##### When leaving a phone message:

* Use their name, and state clearly who you are.
* Always say why you are calling and what action you want them to call back with or what you want to discuss.
* Include a benefit to them of calling back if possible.
* It also helps to give them a time frame to call back, e.g. today as that then allows you to call them the next day if they haven’t called you back.
* Then leave your name again and the number to call you on and thank them again using their name. 



Email is generally less effective than a phone conversation but if you can’t get through on the phone make sure your emails are just as effective.

##### When sending emails:

* Use a strong subject line that will grab the attention.
* Keep the body to a short message that gets the persons interest and develops a desire to know more or to respond.
* Clearly state the action to be taken. E.g. ‘email me back now’ or with some good times to call you.
* Check the mail is received and read by requesting a read and received receipt


Obviously using these strategies won’t guarantee a response, but they will increase your chances of getting a reply. It is also important to ensure you have the motivation to keep trying to get a response. Remember to be persistent and flexible and vary the time of day you call and the messages you use.

If you keep trying and still don’t get a reply, be realistic, maybe they just aren’t that interested, so politely let them know you are going to give up trying to get hold of them; sometimes that in itself can elicit a response.

By Toby Buckle – [Hazel Branch, Coaching Training and Personal Development](http://www.hazelbranch.co.uk/)

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